Thursday, October 29, 2009

We're all sheep....

Question: How stupid is the average American or the law that comes out of the mistakes made? Does it surprise anyone that its illegal to bowl down the sidewalk in Chico? Or that in Fresno you can't host a Poker Tournament in an ELEMENTARY SCHOOL? That must really upset all of the degenerate 9 year old gamblers!
In Lompoc its illegal to own roosters and in Ontario they can't crow within the city limits..... sounds like they should consider both laws?! Holloywood has a law that you cant drive over 2,000 sheep down Hollywood blvd at the same time...And all I can think is... seriously WHO in Hollywood has 2,000 sheep and how in the hell do you take more than a hundred sheep anywhere at anytime? Okay, okay, okay...this one gets me and instigated this WHOLE blog..... Did you know that in Long Beach it is illegal to curse on a mini golf course.... and cars are the ONLY thing permitted to be in you garage? First off all I can't even think of a single Mini Golf Course in Long Beach  and seriously who doesn't use their garage for the multi-use storage facility? And what ass hole had their garage so over filled that it spontaneously combusted, in turn ruining it for the rest of us pack rats? After doing a bit more reading I have learned that San Francisco has some of the strangest laws of any place in California.... Its against the law is Frisco to wipe dirty underwear on a car or give oral sex...... The first one I can see... okay true its pretty fuckin disgusting for you to wipe your dirty underpants on a car; however, I can NOT believe that oral sex is against the law in San Francisco.... It just doesn't make sense, especially since San Francisco is one of the most liberal places in California.... I think I actually saw a man give oral sex to another man at the pride festival a few years ago up there..... So I wonder how many street bowling, blow job, shit pants, 2000 sheep, stuff in garage tickets have been written and who is the idiot that got the first one?

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Blessed are those who love.....

I wanted to write you a story, a poem or a fable.... actually I was hoping to make love to you on that table.... and then I remembered, this girls on her best behavior and my goodness am I lucky that your not my neighbor. Because I have gotten a handle on your needs and another on your heart.... and most of my energy focused on a less complex body part. Im in as many pieces as that glass I dropped upon your floor, and just a closed or open as your ever swinging front door... but the one thing I know to be solid, the one thing I know to be true is that not a day goes by when I don't want to make sweet love to you. I wasn't ready when I met you... I had a lot of life to live, I pretended I could return all the love you had to give. I knew my potential then, far surpassed my action, and I am so sorry I didn't give you a bit more satisfaction. But here I am remembering whats and when... "I know I fucked up before".... "but I promise to be nothing like I was back then"..... Your my friend first and I truly want you to be happy.... and Lover I am so so sorry this blogs a little sappy! Its just you seem to walk back in and remind me of why I loved you from the jump street, Im holding on to those words you say  like somehow they are mine to keep....  If the traffic on the road to your heart soon fades, please let me know because there is plenty of love to be made... Blessed love

Sunday, October 18, 2009

just a thought.....

The kinetic vs potential, offering a brief glance at woman vs man one running full speed, the other with full speed in hand..... "Ill offer you forever" she says, as he wonders "what's for dinner?", she reaches out her hand to him, because this one is a beginner.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Growing....Growing.... Gone!

"But I have come a long way...." was the last thing I uttered before you smiled and turned away.... and it was just then that I realized... you see right through me. You know where Im coming from, and remember most of where I have been, everything came full circle for you and me just then. I said I was sorry for all of the messes I have made, with depth and image so vivid you would think it was Thomas Kincade. Forgive me of my faults, mistakes, accidents, and shame forgive me for the conspiracy, plotting and unnecessary blame.... I know not how simple your life was way back then.... I know not a way to take my mind from what could have been.... Stepping on your heart and balls wasn't my great intention, I really wanted to love you, but that I forgot to mention....
Lost in the anomaly commonly known as my own mind, unsure how to let go of the pieces my heart has intertwined. Never fully closing my own doors... getting many slammed hard in my face. Knocks me down a peg or two and puts me right in my place!

Back on my knees.... but if Im here all alone.... who am I to please?
Maybe I should pray....

Melt with you.....

Its heating up in here and I know its not because you walked in.... The sun is burning spots on my heart and in my skin. The air we are breathing is polluting down to our core, the way were treating the planet.... is making mother nature a whore. Someone is raping her sky, pillaging her trees, holding her down to drill, then forcing her to her knees. BEGGING FOR MERCY..... she is crying.... inside she is dying.... and I have to ask, are you even trying?

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Trust No Bitch....

The secret is in the sauce.... or at least "that's what she said" and all that keeps running through my mind is how I should have stayed in bed.
He has a baby, and shes got one on the way, they just got married and I think he proposed yesterday... and then there is my life. The one that has been plotted from day one, somehow all my knots untied and my plots have been undone... I have patience and hope just as much as the next, a bit of pure conviction that leaves most men perplexed. But somehow I feel it already appropriately true... that the only way a man would stick is if I were made of glue. I have to stop acting like only I know because while I might know a real good way, there is a million ways to grow. Its purely my own doing that I am almost too difficult to comprehend but I would have to blame the liars, cheats and ass holes for for my hearts surviving on liquid mend.... Mean mean girl... can't keep her smart ass mouth shut, but at least my condescending self lets you know what is what..... Not feeding you lies... that renders me your queen or just some bitch, just like the thin line between love and hate... you alone can decide which is which....Photobucket

Monday, October 5, 2009

next or last....

This is the point of no return....and the lessons that I learned will be gathered and used as sutures for the wounds that I have earned.
Because every now and again I am faced with circumstances so far out of my control that I allow myself to resort to childhood with desire to hide in the nearest hole. And as much as I said that "I just want you to be happy"... I wanted you to find that happiness in me... And now its seems we must agree to disagree... Because I know I am not that girl I imagined in my head... I know I could not fulfill all those promises that I said. This selfish little bitch has surfaced and I feel helpless once again, not because I cant control the kid in me but because Im being a shitty friend. I want to say Im so happy, stoked, and overjoyed for all the excitement of your new little boy. So its best if we take a break from sight, a hiatus from your touch, a semi-permanent good bye from " I miss you oh so much".... because your heart is no longer mine to hurt due to lack of care, your tiny little pieces have been swept up and put in the shop for repair.... and this is my I am sorry, for not being a better fit....but I suppose this is best for both, as hard as that is to admit. I want to say I am proud of you, for growing up so fast. And how Im not surprised that you saved the best for last. You were my first real love, and also my first true friend and as much as my pride wants to stomp off, that friendship will never end. Its hard for me to say without feeling a little crazy.... but I can't wait to meet the little lady, and I am so excited about the baby. I simply must say Thank you, for helping me to change my ways... If you hadn't taught me about respect in love, I would be doomed to lonely days.... and fuck if I don't end up the cat lady anyways.... LoL
Thank you Friend....Photobucket

Thursday, October 1, 2009


I puked a little in my mouth when I heard the news. And Im not too proud to say I swallow and chase it with some booze. The taste that was left in my mouth, somewhat resembles my mood knowing all that shit you fed me, well... none of that was food!