Wednesday, July 29, 2009

man of my dreams....

There was this dream I had, and I do believe it was you.... that kicked down the walls in my heart and made everything around me blue.... Thanks to, thanks to me.
I can see how superficial my old intentions must have seemed.... and as much as I explain, rotten is how it will be deemed.... this I know...kinda blows....
I lied, I cheated, I think I may have stole, more than I could ever repair to again make this existence whole.....Im sorry....
Learning every day, how to treat you right, still knowing it doesn't matter much because all I can gain is more fights...truth in the light. I was wrong.
All of you.
This is for the Irish love that I left at wayside, knowing damn well I the universe wanted our worlds to collide.... you ever coming back?
And the man who I knew I never should have dated.... he wasn't stable enough and had to be sedated....I was ignorant enough to have waited.
The boy with the green thumb, for his marry jane and his money.... never should have followed you... but I decided that Id make a better dummy....cant believe I still loved you
The boy with the bug, and the ex-wifey to match.... I wish I were older then, I might have seen you as a little too late.
The nicest guy in the world.... love you to this day... there isnt a single bad word of you I could say....wish things could have ended up another way but you deserve better....I get it now.
And a future dream love, waiting for your attention, not to mention the love intervention. Come find me.,,,, I think you see me.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Humbled at Heart....

There I was, sitting alone on the corner or romance and fallacy wondering how I got there and which road I was going to take out of this empathetic existence. The moments and days of resenting lack of success and failed loves were fading and I began to recognize that no matter how hard I try to manipulate a situation if it isn't in the energy of the universe, it isn't worth my energy.

In reality I have always known in my heart..but due to a resistance in my own head and emotional rebellion against the comfortable and went the route of the painful. So now it is just up to me to take the conscious recognition of my addiction to dangerous and unrealistic boys and find a way to embrace comfort..... The endurance my heart has already had to prove to the world existed may not last as long as once predicted and that humbles me. I am begining to understand the beauty is simplicity. Resilience is a gift from the heavens and the ability to appreciate it is a gift from my grandfather and my only hope is to love again unconditionally. Changing ever changing, and begining to understand the blessings given in the simple joys of life rather than the grand gestures. Jah will find you in the details.....

Live and let live....just the same as we live and let die.... LOVE.