Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Fuck Cancer

It was just that moment when everything around me changed. I knew from that point forward I wasn't allowed to take anything for granted. And up until this point in my life I had the impression that there was something owed to me. As complex as a love gone wrong and as simple as a rock that stubs our toe can redirect the entire path that we will walk tomorrow. But at the end of the day... there isn't much that actually matters other than those we get to share it with.

When the fog clears and cancer is all your left with to identify a period of your life it is quite apparent what really matters. It isn't the things you have acquired, or the recognition that you gained from onlookers, or even the money you have saved, won or squandered away. Its the moments of enlightened awe, and expressions of love, the kind words on a hard day, a new found respect from your parents, or even the extended hug from an old friend when reunited.

When you haven't left your bed for 5 days and the television seems to be your only friend, you remember who visits and who calls.... You also learn that some people are emotional health liabilities and better at arms length. Why its not necessary for everyone to like you and how it is completely healthy to know that some people, just simply aren't for you. Its a very vulnerable time, I felt completely open, immune system shot, spirits in the dump, self esteem down, skin color yellowed, energy low and all I keep asking myself is what are the lessons I am to learn here? Why is this happening to me now? What am I to gain?

This is what I have so far....
*The love of family and and good friend can heal...but only if you let it in.
*A family can be the most epic support system or the largest weight we carry
*Embrace every moment of happiness.
*Laughing saves lives
*Cancer is just a nicer word developed to replace "western civilization poisoning our bodies and destroying our cells to make things cheaper and faster and bigger"
*Death is real in life, and life is real in death
*No one controls how you feel but you!
*We find our Karma in the way we respond to situations
*Dogs make great friends
*Vitamin D... SUNSHINE!
*A garden is an excellent place to meditate
*Anger is one part fear, one part disappointment, two parts frustration shaken in the whatever cup you call life.
*Peace is what you find when you stop looking for acceptance and embrace the love within you.
*Love is what you find when you start making yourself an asset to those you hold dear and relinquish the ego.
*Life is this moment....