Thursday, June 11, 2009

It depends on if you have things.... or they have you.

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Letting go is often the strongest thing that a person can do.In life it seems we have an easier time acquiring junk than we do letting it go. We harbor emotional baggage that is difficult to let go of. Most people are not conscious of how much they are carrying and how many of their possessions are no longer adding value to their life.

More often than not it is the struggle to hold onto baggage too heavy for our hearts that causes the damage to our journey we only notice after our flight has left. Now the term "baggage" is used very metaphorically to explain the amount of feelings, issues and problems one continues to hold onto throughout their lives; however, it is also a very literal term in the fact that the the more we pile in, the harder it is to explore. I'm not sure if; it is a psychological norm for women to all want the world to fit into their bag, human nature to be a pack rat (physically and mentally) or if it is just me..... but I do know that no matter how big a bag I get there just isn't room for my issues, tissues and "miss yous" to all be in one place.

From time to time, usually seasonally, I find myself dumping my whole purse onto the floor, scattering the various items that once weighed on my shoulder across the ground. As I examine each piece I ask myself, do I REALLY need to carry this with me everywhere? If the answer is yes I place the chap stick, eye drops, wallet, keys, patience, forgiveness, sympathy, empathy, and love back into my bag and move on to the next piece but if the answer is no, and I do not need to take this specific item with me everywhere, I then ask, if I even need it at all. If so I find an appropriate place to put my nail file, post-its, sharpie, anger, sexuality and competitiveness that is accessible enough to grab whenever I need. And then there is the majority of my load... stuff I dont need or want it... and more than you would think I find myself having to throw away over 1/2 the content of my bag (metaphorically and literally) and wondering what compelled me to hold onto an old band aid, dirty gum, ink less pen, hate, jealousy, and self pity for so long in the first place.

Then I remember....I was afraid I might need it some day and I didn't want to be unprepaired. And I thought that it might just be a fucking FABULOUS idea to lug it around for the rest of my life......burdening myself and those who have to sit and watch me suffer.... Photobucket


But really.... if I was in need of a piece of gum, I would rather have none than chew on a piece that has dirt, crumbs and flakes of weed in it. If I cut myself, would I really want to put an OLD dirty band aid on it? And every time I pick up a new bit of anger or jealousy do I really want to stack it on top of preexisting angst? And the answer is no....

Every now and then, I just have to dump it all out on the floor and start over....lighten to load, cause all the good airlines tax me when I fly by the weight of my bags........ and if I cant foot the bill or leave something behind then it looks like I'll miss my flight.


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4 comments:

  1. Most excellent write. It put a smile on my face. And that's been hard for me these days. Every word right on. I can really relate.

    Anyway.. What about penguins in San Diego? nick

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  2. Hi, I just chanced upon ur blog and must say its very thought provoking. Read through some post and all are brilliant. Keep writing

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  3. I liked you post. Made me tink of a song by U2 where hey sing: (and love is not an easy thing) theonly baggage you can ring is all that you can't leave behind.

    Drop by!
    http://shanipersson.blogspot.com

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  4. I haven't heard from you in a ways. Hope everything is well with you? nick

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I want to hear what you think.... be as blunt, honest, free as you see fit! xo
Blessings
Nichole