Humble Pie

When I look in the mirror I am not always pleased. Often I find myself picking at my face and any little imperfection that I have...at the end of my facial excavation I look worse than I did in the beginning and now I am going to have scars.... what compels me to continue to worsen an already repugnant situation? The obsession I have to fuck with something if its not the way I think it should be permeates to the rest of my life... and often ruins some of the best parts of my existance. I know its not just me... and I do know that women are more likely to have this tendency over men. At what point are we as individuals willing to accept an imperfection within or without ourselves allow it to exist and rather than put make up over it, cover it with a big sweater or numb it with a bottle of Jameson why has it taken me 23 years to be able to see that humility and love are the only medicines to my internal emotional disease. Inner peace is the only way I will have outer peace... Learning to love the criticisms that are given to me, because people who love me want me to better myself... learning to look in the mirror and point less fingers, knowing that its not what you say its how you say it, accepting that there is always time for an apology and the times when you really don't think you should have to give one, are the times that you most likely should. There isn't a pill, process, person or place that will repair the internal damage I have inflicted upon myself; however, there is hope. Within myself... I have hope and I can be the catalyst of the internal healing.... Today is better than yesterday and tomorrow is going to beat today. Let to love in.